Being the oldest of four children has always had its fair share of pros and cons, but one pro that outweighs nearly all the other ones is getting to be the official taste tester of my moms baked goods. But all is not well. One of my siblings has recently began to weaken my position as official baked goods tester, and has on several occasions even attempted to get a larger helping than me. “A younger sibling getting more than the oldest one? What next? What is this world coming to?”
But fear not! Though it pains me to do so, I can set things straight, by assuming my alter ego, the Bandit of Confections. Now, before you go comparing me to batman, it’s quite different. Firstly, I have a much smaller area to patrol (the kitchen and dining room), only two gadgets (fork and spoon), and I’m not a rich spoiled socialite with more issues than sports illustrated. Anyhow, the reason I will steal an entire pie and eat it isn’t hunger, nor is it greed. I would love for my siblings to have some, but not until they appreciate it fully. When asked whether they want my moms pies, cobblers etc or something from a burger place, the answer is obvious, but not to them. Therefore, I accept the anger when my mom wakes up and sees an empty pie pan. I will accept the punishment, the exasperation, even the need to increase my workout routine so I don’t end up pie shaped myself, because I am the dark kn- I mean Bandit of Confections.
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